OK So I've been Sick...

Yeah so I was sick practically forever. It started right after our *super* awesome Halloween party, the one where the power was out. We didn't tell anyone the power was out in case they wouldn't have come then (well, except Morgan because she had to sleep over and it wouldn't be fair to at least not warn her.)

I had been cleaning all week so that I wouldn't have to clean all day Saturday and be exhausted for the party. Jim stretched out on the couch after breakfast, looked around and declared "Well, I can't vacuum without power, and it's too dark to sweep." He looked all pleased with himself while I swear I went supersonic.

So we cleaned in the stormy half-light of a Vermont wintery afternoon, lit a ton of little LED candles in party favor plastic pumpkins that threw no light at all, and real candles that did. Then we went over to William's farmhouse (leaving Susan and Keving holding down the fort) to cook beef stew and cornbread for our impending guests. We showered at Williams (thank *goodness*), came home and Jim filled 5 gallon buckets for toilet flushing purposes. Guests were met at the door by Susan hollering "If it's yellow let it mellow!!!", and "Oh yeah, welcome..." And we really had a wonderful party. There was no music or much light, but lots of libations and conversation.

And, not that Sunday but the following monday, all that wine and getting dressed in the cold caught up with me and I fell ill. I didn't go to Sarah's for Halloween to give out candy, instead I watched one of the vampire movies we had rented to have as background ambiance at the party. I felt miserable monday, worse tuesday, OK enough to visit Papa on his birthday wednesday, and just downhill from there.
Finally, a week later (last monday) I went to the doctor.

This pleasant looking kid with Drew Carey glasses walks into the little hospital cell.

Me "_You_ are the doctor? You don't look a day over 28 to me."

Dr "Yes I'm the doctor. I am far, far older than 28.
I am 30. So no one can call me the young guy around the place anymore."

Me "Only I'm 31 and when someone younger than me has a doctorate, it makes me feel like maybe I was slacking off."

Dr "Maybe you're a slacker. Did you ever think of that?"

Me: "Hey I have my degrees, they're just in Computer Science so I don't have to deal with people."

Dr: "That's good thinking. People Suck."

... we talk about my symptoms for a bit.

Dr: "Do you smoke?"

Me: "Hells no! It makes you smell bad, and it's bad for your health, and worst of all, it's expensive!"

Dr: "So far you're giving me all the right answers. Would you mind going out in the waiting room and yelling out those things?"

Me: "Well, if those people haven't already heard all that they just aren't listening."

Dr: "Yes, well sometimes a voice of authority, such as coming from the elder in the room..."

Me (Smacks Dr in elbow) "Hey!"

... we have a lively conversation about more stuff all about me

Dr: "You have a cold."

Me: "Well I told the girl at the desk when I called that I have a cold and asked if they had a cure for it yet, and she told me I should come in!"

Dr: "Yes, they're trained by the people who count the beans to do that. You're going to have this cold for 1 to 3 weeks..."

Me: (wailing) "3 weeks!!!"

Dr: "What are you doing for it now?"

Me: "I'm sleeping as much as I can, taking lots of vitamins, plus elderberries in honey and grapefruit seed extract."

Dr: "That's all good, keep doing that. Herbal remedies probably help and they can't hurt."

Me: "Can I do anything else?"

Dr: "Yes, do you know about those neti pots for rinsing out your sinuses? Go get one of those or make one out of a detergent squirt bottle... those pop tops fit perfectly in a nostril. Then you lean over the sink and squirt saline into your nose... of course it makes a terrible mess and it's more for my amusement than anything else..."


And that's how I came to smack the Doctor.
Just a little.
But he really really deserved it.
:)